I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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