Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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