grandma shit on top of the toilet
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize