I seem to have left my pride at pride
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
