barbara walters just said penis...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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