i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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