You smell like a Billy Joel song
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
is it fun? or sober?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
