dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
