tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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