i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
