great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
