i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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