More tranny stories later!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
