i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
