it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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