walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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