Me too!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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