i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
