did i walk over a car last night?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
