she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I looked at my own cervix.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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