he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
