What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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