school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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