I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
