I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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