i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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