Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Its about making memories worth repressing
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
