I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
