two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The convent might be a nice break from real life
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
