its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
