try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We just shotgunned beers for America
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
