So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
