Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
