the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
