Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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