I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
