Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
