it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
