This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
40s are totally the cure
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
