yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
