seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
