A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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