we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
