Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This baby is an asshole
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
