Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you inspire me to be a worse person
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
