Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
