All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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