Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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