Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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