I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize