remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
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Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it