I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.