One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(