i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
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I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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