so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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