Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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