I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
