Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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