Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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