I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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