I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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