shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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