Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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