Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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