Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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