At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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