apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Panties = found
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
