he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
