Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
