I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
