is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
