**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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