your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
